“Ok, this looks bad.” She said, blood pooling around her.
“Looks bad? LOOKS BAD!” I yelled, walking further into the room, stopping as I take note of the knife in her hand.
“It was a zombie. Please believe me.” She pleaded of me. I didn’t know what to say. She thought zombies were real. That’s impossible. She had killed someone, violently. This couldn’t be explained away.
“Are you mad? Zombies aren’t real. You don’t even watch The Walking Dead, how could you think zombies are real?” I just stared at her in disbelief. I turned to the bloody mess on the floor, hand over my mouth. I couldn’t quite make out the face, though some features looked familiar.
“She just came at me. You should have seen her. Her eyes were green, her face was peeling off. She was a zombie, I had to stop her. She tried to bite me!” She held up her arm, she did have some teeth marks, none of them had broken the skin.
There was an awful smell in the air, true while there was a dead body in the room I didn’t think it would be this bad so soon.
“You need to put the knife down. We need to call the police, I’m sure we can explain this. You need to talk to someone.” I worried for her mind, her brilliant mind. She had finally snapped, she was under so much pressure at work.
As I turned once more from the bloody mess to her petrified face she screamed at me. She went to raise the knife once more. I put my hands out to stop her as pain bloomed out down my spine. Someone was biting the back of my neck. The pain faded slowly as a gnawing pain began in my stomach. I was hungry. Suddenly I wasn’t afraid of her. I wanted her.
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I really liked this. It felt fresh and exciting and suspenseful. I liked the hints, peppered through the story, that it really was a zombie, mixed with the suggestions that this person had just snapped what to believe? What to believe? *Bite* also, she is way hardcore if she’s going at zombies armed only with a knife. I’ve played resident evil. Doing that is tough. 😛
Good short story!
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Thank you for your feedback! I admit I didn’t think too much about the weapon, I just thought of what would be most available in the average household. I could never bring myself to pay resident evil, while I like to read and write suspense I can’t handle watching or playing it!
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Haha, it was a good choice of weapon.Yeah, I totally got the vibe that she had just grabbed what she could and defended herself. Perfect!
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You wrote the narrator’s shock and disbelief very well. It was clear that the zombification process in this world happens super fast. I wondered what room the characters were in.
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Thank you for your feedback. I have to admit I didn’t think too much about the setting, I focused more on the narrator’s thought process. I will keep this in mind for my future short stories.
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Honestly, I always do this haha. In my head its like, “meh, who wants to know about the setting? The characters are the interesting bit!” And then I return to read the piece in the future and it’s like “…where are we? What’s happening?!” 😛
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I liked the way you showed the incredulity in the narrator’s voice. Zombies aren’t real. Right? hah I would assume the the zombification process is quick moving as it must be the beginning of the outbreak. Still, I liked the contrast of the surprise to wanting her blood in the span of two lines. Satisfying read. 🙂
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I really enjoyed this flash. Great set up and left us hanging right until the end!
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Nice! So creepy, and I didn’t see the ending coming.
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